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The one and only excuse for Chinese Whispers...
... if you grew up not realizing that your hearing was lost to the consonants like sh, ch, th, s, f, b, d, t,
... and your brain spent all that time interpreting vowels and body language,
... then, welcome to the world of selective hearing.
For now, eating in a restaurant with bionic ears is out of the question with all that loud whispering. Sob.
Birthday dinner prepared by "Masterchef" Noodle Cook at 5 star restaurant "39" in Sorrento.
Entree
Salad of caramelised Beurre Bosc pear, chicory, Camembert, blue cheese crumbs and nuts, dressed with lemon and Dijon mustard
Main
Assiette plate of roasted chicken with tarragon cream sauce, chicken mousse with creamy broccoli puree, honey glazed carrots and roasted potato and skins
Dessert
Apple tarte tatin smothered with buttery toffee sauce, served with creme fraiche
Everyone has one of those life changing moments. For Noodle Cook, and any masterchef wannabe, it has to be that memorable meal. It was the first French meal, eaten at Marcel's in the King Street tourist precinct, Toronto. Prices were great after the downturn from chicken flu and mad cow disease. Besides, no-one would pass up a fine dining restaurant meal after a conference field trip that went from west to east coast of Canada. Of course with John, the expert at food criticising, on hand to pay for the meal, it was too good an opportunity.
The difference with this meal was the ambience, complete with music and rustic French decor. Up until that moment in time on 27 July, 2003, fine dining was strictly for business with clients, and savouring the beautiful flavours built into the tiny squiggle of a well made sauce wasn't a privilege to enjoy while doing business.
Moules Poulette $8.75
Mussels in Chardonnay wine, herb and cream sauce
Noisettes d'agneau grillees, reduction de romarin et baie de genievre, mousseline de pommes de terre au pesto $19.50
Roasted lamb loin, with rosemary-juniper reduction and pesto mashed potato
Mille feuilles a la meringue avec une mousse a la mangue et coulis de framboises
Meringue mille feuilles filled with a mango mousse and served with a raspberry sauce
Escargots au basilic frais, ail roti, consomme de tomates et sauvignon blanc $8.75
Snails with fresh basil, roasted garlic, tomato sauvignon blanc broth
Saumon de l'Atlantique saute au fenouil et poivre, riz sauvage et beurre blanc aux fruits de la passion $19.50
Fennel-pepper seared Atlantic salmon fillet with wild rice pilaf and passion fruit beurre-blanc
May is the birthday month for John, Noodle Cook, John's sister, Oz Grunt, Ninja Nath, and Cathy Road Runner. It's a special month for Ninja Nath who turns 18. His advice is "Enjoy your school years!" The Atrium restaurant at Burswood offered complimentary champagne and a chocolate mousse cake for the celebration.
May 15 is extra special as it is none other than Noodle Cook's birthday. It is also the day that Noodle Cook's sister received a life saving kidney, a year ago. Today, is the anniversary of the greatest present that anyone can possible receive, the gift of life.
If you have been following fairytale romances as a lead up to the Royal Wedding, then read on, for part 2 of the one that happens at the other end of the scale, down under, at "An Electronic Restaurant" where dreams sometimes come true. Re-cap part 1.
So, it isn't THE ring, or rather THE diamond.
Instead, it's a diamond pendant, more correctly, a pearl with MICRO-diamonds. Wait, there's still more...
There's a dark secret waiting....... Behind the pendant is a black diamond.
Modern day miracles do happen. Just look at these plants which suffered transplant shock after moving to harsh seaside conditions at Sorrento at the height of summer heat.
The lemon myrtle pictured above receives sun damage, but somehow recovers, with leaves intact.
The riberry plant dries up into twigs, and then unexpectedly rejuvenates with fresh pink foliage.
The lilly pilly, cousin Baby Ben, dries up and drops its leaves in sympathy with the riberry. Like the riberry, it too starts putting out new growth when all seem lost.
When the jam wattle (acacia acuminata), host for the quandong, went down to one leaf, the quandong struggled to survive. Miraculously, the wattle sprouts fresh pinnate leaves, unlike the fine strappy leaves seen previously. It looks like the quandong is going to survive thanks to the mateship of the acacia.
Sadly, out of the bush tucker plants, the two least expected to perish, the salt bush and midyim berry fail to make it in their new home. RIP.
Childhood is arriving home to the smell of baking. It takes ANZAC 2011 for John to experience that lost childhood, of savouring a homemade ANZAC biscuit. To make up lost time, 36 biscuits vanish in 3 days.
As Prince William weds Kate Middleton, the rest of the world dreams of fairy tale weddings and happily ever after.
On the other side of the TV screen, what about "Kaga" John of home stadium kitchen fame? Let's rewind the tape back to 23 October 2010.
As John walks excitedly past the jeweller on a very busy Saturday in a local shopping centre....
John: How would you like a wedding ring?
Noodle: That would be really nice!
John: We have to wait a bit longer, for the boys to adjust ...
Noodle: Oh, out of respect for the boys ...
On Christmas Day 2010, a box appears under the Christmas tree, wrapped with a picture of a pink "Argyle" diamond. Excitement runs high...
John: Here's a present!
Noodle: Here's something for you...
Dramatic drum roll while the gift wrappers rip.... and then ....
.... the ring is no where to be found. OK, it's customary for diamonds even if it is under 1 mm under 0.5 mm in a pendant. In the end it's the thought that counts... an "I.O.U" cruise and a lovely injet-printed pink diamond say it all .... and much more.
COOKING IN PROGRESS......
Computer: Computation in progress.... running... running... running...
Noodle: Oops! The computer has been running all night and day. Ctrl Q to quit. What's up?
Computer: Australian cuisine is PERMUTATIONS of borrowed TASTES, INGREDIENTS, TECHNIQUES & PRESENTATIONS from around the world that evolve over time with immigration. Insufficient time to complete permutations. Permutations infinite.
Noodle: That's enough time lost. We'll miss the competition. Computer, check out Maggie Beer and Australian Cuisine.
Computer: Click "I'm feeling lucky" for result
Noodle: Of course! Australia is the lucky country with gourmet like dim sim, chiko roll, pavlova, vegemite, fish & chips, meat pies, roast lamb on mash, damper, anzac biscuits, lamington/jelly cake... and we even eat kangaroo and emu on our coats of arms without being tried and shot for treason. Dinner is getting cold. Let's get this published.
SERVING THE ULTIMATE AUSTRALIAN DISH FOR DINNER....
Click here for recipe
The Great Aussie BBQ Invention
Australia does not have a distinctive local cuisine, unless one considers cooking singeing and charring, in game preparation, on campfires by indigenous Australians, the precursor to Paul Hogan's "shrimp on the barbie", and Australians' obsession to alfresco cooking and dining which features char grilled meats. Perhaps the BBQ attraction lies in the ease of cooking in the "sun, surf and sports" way of life enjoyed by Australians.
Tossing a "shrimp" on a BBQ is old fashion. For a start, Australians are proud of their fresh, uncontaminated, environmentally sustainable seafood. A "shrimp", in more than one way, is really a diminutive of the king prawn, the dominant species found off Exmouth Gulf and Shark Bay, Western Australia. Secondly, Modern Australians enjoy their "shrimp on the barbie" a bit differently to the perception of Americans. The prawns are usually marinated, and most likely threaded on skewers like satays or kebabs, for ease of cooking and eating. Quite often the prawns are butterflied into steaks. Giant leader prawns can be stuffed after scoring a slit along the back. The flavours of the marinate are often borrowed from other cultures, with a skew towards Asian or Italian. Check out lemon myrtle garlic prawns as an example.
Cast iron griddles, BBQ kettles, fancy gas powered $2000 stainless BBQ grillers and smokers are really technological advancements of the ground oven used by indigenous Australians throughout Australian history....
Australian cuisine in the past....
Indigenous Australians migrated over land bridges 40000 to 50000 years ago, bringing nothing more than their bush survival skills to make use of what was locally available bush tucker.
Tastes: Natural flavours of freshly harvested local produce native to Australia. Natural flavours from native aromatic leaves found locally.
Ingredients: Flora and fauna native to Australia. Indigenous Australians consumed kangaroos, echidnas, emus and other wild birds, snakes, lizards, grubs and insects, and hundreds of native fruits and nuts. Bush herbs include lemon myrtle, mountain pepperleaf, and mountain pepperberries.
Cooking technique: Game prepared by singeing and charring over camp fires to aid removal of skins and feathers. Bush meals cooked in ground oven of heated rocks, overlaid with aromatic bush tucker leaves for flavouring, with paperbark cover to retain heat for roasting. Water was added to steam while roasting.
Australian cuisine now....
Cultural diversity imparts new tastes from each lot of new arrivals: British convicts, gold rush Chinese, British "10 pound pom", Italian, Greek, Lebanese, Southeast Asian, Middle-eastern.... Many of these arrivals, like their indigenous Australians predecessor, came with nothing except for the shirt on their back, others came with just hopes of a better life, and a privilege few came with friends in their suitcases. Intrinsically, the migrants brought with them their food habits and food cultivation skills.
Tastes: Traditional from country of origin. "Confusion" of using local ingredients, not used in traditional dish, led to new fusion style cooking. Eventually local ingredients simulate tastes of traditional dishes, or traditional ingredients become available locally through market gardening. The traditional dishes become classic dishes for Australians, although seasonal ingredients, local cooking techniques and presentation may differ from the original dish.
Ingredients: With air transportation, the sky's the limit.
Cooking techniques: A combination of methods from many cultures.
Australian cuisine in the future....
History tends to repeat itself. Ingredients that once were foreign are now produced locally, in a green, sustainable environment.
Tastes: Natural flavours of freshly harvested local produce. Natural flavours from aromatic ingredients grown locally. The combination of flavours reflect that of traditional dishes.
Ingredients: Advances in agriculture made it possible to procure local ingredients previously not possible, like Manjumup truffles, and Tasmanian wasabi.
Cooking techniques: Instead of migrants, the internet and television bring cooking techniques from around the world. Technology and food science advancements made possible haute cuisine techniques like cooking under vacuum in sous vide, low temperature roasting, molecular gastronomy, and cold aging of meat using UV. Indigenous Australians have already invented a version of the combination steam oven, and that was using free locally available materials for their ground oven! A steam oven by Blanco costs AU$2499, while a combination hot air and steam version by Miele skyrockets to AU$5499.
"What is Australian Cuisine?"
Some ask where is the Australian in a dish if there is no native bush tucker ingredient like kangaroo or bush seasoning like lemon myrtle, while others fail to see how a bush herb with similar taste to common herbs can make a dish more Australian. Maybe the answer lies in the cultural aspect: a dish is Australian if it demonstrates the cook and/or diner embraces the tastes from a culture/cuisine which may differ from their own, and hopefully the dish contains some locally derived ingredients to uphold Australian pride?
So, here, the 2-minute Noodle Cook presents, John's gourmet dinner, the humble Aussie beef burger of char-grilled premium West Australian beef mince cooked barbecued on a modern cast iron griddle.
Delicately piquant from home grown oregano, thyme and continental parsley, with hints of garlic and shallot, and a touch of zing from freshly ground black pepper, complemented with a sprinkle of ground bush tomato (akudjura) and native mountain pepperleaf. Served in a crisp toasted, buttered bun with quality WA cheese from the pristine southwest, and a salad, of vine ripened tomatoes, fresh boiled beetroot, dill pickle, wilted seasonal Asian greens, and saute onions, dressed lightly with balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil. Click here for recipe.
This burger is the equivalent of serving up several Italian inspired dishes, namely tomato brushetta, and beetroot & onion salad, in a fast food format. The meal pretty much sums up the essence of Australian cuisine as eaten in an Australian home: the British pub food heritage, Australian barbecue cooking, the incorporation of Italian flavours, use of native ingredients, use of locally produced ingredients, and best of all, ease of cooking and serving a meal that suits the Australian way of life. Nothing beats the satisfaction of cooking a healthy meal that is universally enjoyed, even by a food critic like John (the villain in this blog) who normally can't wait to brag about how bad everybody elses cooking tastes.
Laid back Australians, thankfully, do not conform to a local cuisine that never existed in the first place. Australians are happy to cook and sing "advance Australia fare" (to the tune of Waltzing Matilda) in which ever way: we don't care what fare you pay to be on the way here, as long as you share your fare!
Rick Stein is in town to find the answer. He's already concluded "I won't be able to answer it but I'll have a jolly good try." Rick Stein is running a competition to find the ultimate Australian dish. Click below to find out more about Rick Stein's tour:
Rick Stein is on the hunt for Perth's top food blogger who COOKS. There's a competition, which closes 9am 21 March 2011, to cook the ultimate Australian dish.
the dish is about ".... fresh local ingredients and seasonal cooking..."
the dish to cook "... a classic Aussie recipe, an old family favourite, or your own unique interpretation of Australian cooking. Main course, pudding, starter or snack..."
the winning dish "....words that make our mouths water, pictures that make our stomachs rumble, we want to almost smell it coming out from our computer screens..."
and the PRIZE
VIP Reserve Tickets for Rick Stein's show at Burswood Theatre are on sale for $349 at Ticketek.
Behind the computer screen, the 2-minute Noodle Cook types away, while dreaming of winning and starring on centre stage with Jamie Oliver Rein Stein.
Noodle: Computer, give me a list of Perth food bloggers likely to cook Rick Stein's winning Ultimate Australian dish. Filter with What is Authentic Australian Food?
Computer: Location detected. Field statistically too small to compute with precision.
Noodle: Just give me the top one...
Computer: Karen Cheng's Fashion and Life
Noodle: What! How is that? Isn't that a fashion blog?? Please explain search result...
Computer:
Site Traffic - Alexa Traffic Rank 154,489.
Social Media - Facebook, Twitter
Tag matches - "Seafood", "Fish and Chips", "Italian", "Beach", "British", "Swimming"
Blog Post - Fish and Chips and Sharks
Noodle: Um, I think we better try again. List Perth blogs with "masterchef"
Computer: 3 blogs detected. Press enter to display.Abstract Gourmet
A Very Foodly Diary
An Electronic Restaurant
Noodle: Hey, I've got a chance of winning with odd of 1 to 3! Hang on, what about those who WRITE about food, restaurant, cooking ....
Computer: Compilation in progress...eliminating blogs with no recent posts. Press enter to display.Abstract Gourmet
Noodle: Grrr... I thought the odds are too good to be true. Filter the above list with What is Authentic Australian Food?, site statistics, social media...
An Electronic Restaurant
Alex Millier
A Very Foodly Diary
Beaufort St Bloggers
Beyond Beeton
Blue Apocalypse
Bon Viveur
Bowl of Honey
Breakfast in Perth
Bryton Taylor Gluten Free Cooking
Cafe Grendel
Chips in the Sky
Closet Domestic Bunny
Coffee Reviews Perth
Food, Drinks n' Sun
Foodie Cravings
Hold the Beef
I Love My Bakes
Jeff Ha
Juji Chews
Libertine Eats
Little Miss Bacon
Miss Fatty Foodie
More than Words
Morsels
My Hungry Tummy
Nyonya Passions
Our Breakfast Club
Palace Foods
Poached
Perth Breakfast Club
Perth Food Engineers
Perth Food Reviews
Pawonike
Raw and Vegan
Single White Female
Spiceblog
Sprinkling of Spice
Tannic Teeth
Tenina
The Aussie Oenophile
The Food Pornographer
The Foodographer
The Gluten Free Scallywag
The Recipe Binder
The Wandering Gourmet
Umeboss
Wannabe Gourmand
Wino-sapien
Computer: The Food Pornographer
Noodle: ... please explain
Computer:
Site Traffic - Alexa Traffic Rank 543,089
Social Media - Facebook, Twitter
Tag matches - "Fish and Chips", "Italy", "Australia", "Malaysia"
Blog Post - Fish and Chip Gelato
Noodle: The Food Pornographer statistically wins. Computer, advice me the dish I need to cook to impress Rick Stein...
Computer: "I won't be able to answer it but I'll have a jolly good try." Answer indeterminate.
Noodle: Fish and chips, shrimp on the barbie, meat pies, lamb on mash?
The 2-minute Noodle Cook heads behind the scene, to rummage in a nearly empty pantry with disparate ingredients to dream about cook the winning dish. Will a bush tucker dish wow Rick Stein, or will it be one of villain John's favourite classic dishes like lamb shank, osso bucco...?
Happy New Year!
"Shrimp on the barbie" is too old fashion.... modern Australians call BBQ satays! Just look at the prawns and sausages on skewers.
What to do with Christmas leftovers? You need the lean, mean eating machines from the Army!
Christmas Day 2010 was memorable....
.... it was the first Christmas that was completely stuffed from the beginning to end.
Well, it started with the stuffing preparation on Christmas Eve. It took 2 hours to wash, chop and mince. The 2-minute Noodle Cook doesn't stuff around when it comes to meals as important as Christmas lunch: nothing instant here, it's fresh or it's in the bin. When the turkey was pulled out from the fridge, it was already stuffed by the butcher!
Villain John the executive chef wasn't going to miss the chance of putting his name down as the cook who roasted the turkey. So he peeled back the turkey skin and rubbed herb butter (that he didn't slave 2 hrs to make), and in 2 minutes flat, he did it! Just let the oven do the rest of the work.
..... the guests were going to come early to help with the cooking and help themselves to nibbles until the turkey was ready, so as not to be stuffed before then.
... the first arrivals were 2 hours late and that was early by Zambian time. The friends they were bringing didn't show up. All that foooood sat on the table looking pretty. It looked like a case of dialing "000" to call the "ARMY" in to demolish the food.
While John celebrated his first roast turkey in over 10 years with the boys, Noodle Cook drove 2 hours to arrive late to the family lunch, just after all the turkey was gone. Just a bit of leftover pork roast with apple sauce for a Christmas lunch that wasn't meant to be. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, John called to complain that he couldn't stand up from eating ALL the turkey, which he cooked to perfection.
... after all the heavy going, next came the dessert. It was a breeze since the kids did all the work the week before after learning everything off TV Junior Masterchef, from how to zest a lemon to folding batter.
... unfortunately everyone was too stuffed after the mains to do a Matt Preston critique on the kids effort. While everyone enjoyed their Christmas lunches, Noodle Cook remained hungry....
... so there you have it, Christmas 2010.
Domo, the fuzzy brown monster mascot for a Japanese TV station, took centre stage as birthday cake for Princess, much to the envy of the young invited guests. Well everyone knows the famous Domo except Noodle Cook.
Birthdays are special, and so are the intrinsic gifts of love inside the wrapper.
On the day Noodle Cook woke up to the ringing phone expecting a birthday greeting and breakfast in bed, the greatest gift was received some 4000 km away in Sydney. This is no ordinary gift. A family in their time of great lost, courageously, offered a kidney so some other has a second chance at life. A generous gift to Noodle's sister, a most deserving mum with 2 wonderful kids.
On this memorable birthday for Noodle Cook, John enjoyed savory crepes stuffed with tomatoes, cheese and fennel, with a topping of golden buttered mushroom.
Noodle Cook slaves over the oven making a 2 course meal for none other than the world's worst food critic, aka John the villain in this blog, when Masterchef appears on TV with the pie challenge. Coincidental? Noodle Cook who misses out on the audition after the pot incident, produces a dozen of potato marsala pies, better known as curry puffs, and an apple tarte tatin in under 2 hours.
After watching the TV pie challenge, John decides Noodle Cook's potato marsala pies the winner. However, the apple tart, which looks good (like always), fails as the apples lack acidity. The tart tastes nothing like Canadian apple pie made with maple syrup.
After 2 months hanging out for gluten-free Easter bread, Noodle Cook celebrates with a successful high protein LSA white French style bread for lunch. Shown here is a beautiful moist, fluffy and flexible sandwich. This is incredible for a bread made without GFG, xanthan, guar gum or any other potential allergens with foodcodes. The bread stays fresh for 2 whole days with acceptable eating quality for close on 4 days.
The celebration proves premature as there is one slight problem. Like all gluten-free bread, including commercial ones, this type of bread often stales rapidly. The main effect is rapid drying out of the starches (syneresis), leaving a dry mouth feel. The other effect is crumbling when the texture of starches changes on cooling (retrogradation), such as freezing to extend shelf life. The crumbling occurs when frozen bread is defrosted, but is easily reversed by toasting, or reheating in a microwave oven.
The moistness of the bread is achieved using the starch gel method of bread making, also known as "tangzhong" in Chinese wheat bread making. Through gelatinization of a small portion of the total flour, the starches swell to absorb more moisture.
For gluten-free bread doughs (batters), the gelatinization enables 2 things:
Contrary to belief, Noodle Cook's home meals do not consist of just 2 minute noodles and dumplings ...
Sunday: French chicken and vegetable pot pie made with fresh tarragon and thyme
Monday: Pan-fried Moroccan spice rubbed pork chop, couscous with preserved lemon and mint, and garden salad
Tuesday: Grilled parsley chicken maryland, tarragon peppercorn white sauce, braised red cabbage with caraway, roasted pumpkin and zucchini with dill, mashed potatoes
Wednesday: Parmesan meat balls in napoletana sauce with pasta
Thursday: Thyme and lemon lamb chop with haricot beans, served with rice
Friday: Teriyaki chicken, sesame and soy dip, braised vegetables (sprouts, red capsicum, baby corn, broccoli, spring onion, onion), ginger olive oil infusions, served with rice
Saturday: Couscous and mint crusted salmon, saffron potato and onion, basmati rice with preserved lemons and fennel, beans, peas and green onion dressed with lemon vinaigrette
A lovely fruit basket arrives on April 1st brimming with fresh apples.
The unblemished red apple looks irresistible, until cutting, and suddenly, it is: April Fool! What a surprise that the beautiful apple has a rotten core.
Since this is electronic reality, Noodle Cook rushes behind the scene for a sharp knife, and 2 minutes later, out comes beautifully presented apple slices for dessert! The cut slices cleverly avoided the rotten core.
A week of solid house bound cooking for the worst food critics. Noodle Cook has to prepare for everything including specialist dietary requirements low fat, low protein, low Na/K/P.
What does a "masterchef" pack in the suitcase without exceeding 23 kg?
Favourite cookware: cast iron, the tegame chosen for versatility
Favourite cookbook: The Food I Love by Neil Perry
Favourite utensil: Whisk (double up for cakes and sauces)
Favourite ingredients: bush tucker herbs and spices
Favourite chef's uniform: green and gold 2-minute Noodle Cook uniform complete with the splashes thrown by the Masterchef Australia judges.
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